Consumed, Chapter 1

Consumed.

I knew when I saw him. Everything about him. I was attached. Drawn like a fish at sea. After him as if he were my prey. Locked in. I followed him from a distance. At first, only with my eyes. Then one foot took a step. The other followed. He glided down the side walk in such a smooth manner that had me enticed. It was almost hypnotic, I had to glide exactly the same. Like a dance. Our dance. Matching him to a t.

His charisma bounced off of everyone he passed and landed on me. I turned to look. No one else sees him. It landed on me. Only me. He strolls into a small coffee shop. “My type of place,” I say to myself while entering shortly after him. The girl at the register knew his name. He’s a regular. She smiles. He’s flirting. I’m jealous. I sit at a table in a corner where no one notices. He takes his coffee to a table adjacent to a window. Minutes pass. I watch him the entire time. With every blink, I feel as if I’ve cheated myself of a moment with him. I lost a millisecond, maybe less. I don’t know. Our time is precious. I won’t waste it.

He smiles at a girl on the other side of the window. Another one. How dare he? She enters. He stands to greet her with a kiss. A loving kiss. The kind that holds years of love and laughter. Endless cuddles and countless intimate touches. They share the coffee. Oh yes, this is deep. The way he looks at her, the sparkle in his eyes as the sunlight hits his iris in just the right way. She is happy to see him. She cannot stop smiling. The conversation rolls off their lips ever so sweetly.

I’m livid. I boil with envy. I yearn to be in her position, to feel the glow that radiates from her. She’s in love. He’s in love. It is like something from a movie. I hate her. I close my eyes. I need to breath. 1. 2. 3. Did the movie end? I open my eyes. They’re leaving. Hand in hand. I take another moment before I exit behind them. I’m literally burning with anger. So much heat rises from me that I feel as though I’m floating. Floating like a hot air balloon. Ready to explode. I can’t let this bitch pop my balloon.

 I’m getting too close. I fall back. They enter a brownstone. Nice place. “I could see myself living here.” I cross the street in the opposite direction so that I’m further away but I can still keep my eyes on the place. I just want to make sure he’s safe with this bitch. You can’t be too sure these days. She opens the windows. I have full visibility. The furniture. The arrangement. It’s so me. “My type of place.” I google the street address. Thanks google. Jason Finch. Nice to meet you, Jason. I love you, Jason. Sounds good in my head. Too good. I’m hearing wedding bells.

I almost forgot she was there. He’s relaxing on the couch when she returns to the room. She gives him a quick kiss on the cheek before saying her goodbyes and taking her exit. As she comes down the steps of the brownstone I can’t help but keep my gaze on her. I was curious. I need to know who she is and how she got him. I begin to follow her, I couldn’t help it. It seemed like I was following her forever.

We took the subway to Brooklyn. We walked 5 blocks up. We made a right. We walked 7 more blocks. She crossed the street and stopped. I stopped where I was. She looked around. She’s waiting for someone. She checks her phone. She looks up with a smile. She spotted her companion. I look in the same direction. A guy comes barreling towards her. He picks her up and kisses her with more passion than I was prepared to witness. A sly smile creeps across my face. This guy wasn’t Jason. I watch them walk into a restaurant. The kind that’s dark, personal, and cozy. Perfect for secret relationships. I’ll wait for her out here.

I was getting angry as the hours rolled by. I knew I couldn’t trust this bitch. Look hoe she’s hurting Jason. He’s going to be devastated if he finds out. Did you see the way he looked at her earlier? How could she do him like this? They come out the restaurant. She’s drunk. Extremely intoxicated. He’s worried. She’s walking faster than him, almost pushing him away. “Joy!” he shouts. “I’m fine,” Joy screams back while simultaneously tripping over her own foot. “Let me at least walk you back to the train.” He’s trying to keep up with her. She quickens her pace. “Go home, David, I’m…” she burps, “I’m fine.” She shoos him away and continues walking. I follow.

7 blocks and a left. 5 more blocks down. We were the only 2 waiting for the train but she was far too drunk to notice. She was dancing to whatever she was singing to herself. She was happy. Gloating. She was far too proud of what she was getting away with. Look at this bitch, Jason. Your precious fucking Joy. Ha! How ironic? Your Joy is causing you pain and you don’t even know it. She’s stumbling too close to the edge of the platform now. Be careful Joy. We wouldn’t want you to fall. We wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself. Not like she hurts Jason. But worse.

Her dancing had me wild with anger. She knew what she was doing. Stop sing Joy. Stop fucking singing. Fuck her Jason. Fuck this bitch. You don’t deserve this. You’re stupid if you think you deserve this. She shouldn’t get to play with your feelings like this. I won’t let her play with your feelings Jason.

I approach her she smiles at me. She takes my hand. She tries to dance with me. She’s falling all over herself. Laughing and singing. We’re not the only ones waiting for the train anymore. They’re our audience now and they’re clapping and singing along with Joy. I hate this. I’m enraged. Yet, somehow a smile slides over my lips. A smile so devilish. A smile for all the wrong reasons.

I dance with her. We dance wildly. She’s loving this. The crowd is loving this. She’s still too close to the edge. The train is coming. Everyone’s still clapping. Still singing. She trips. I grab hold of her hand. She’s hanging. Everyone’s screaming. The train is breaking. She’s still smiling, still laughing. My intentions were to help but now I feel like she’s mocking me. I know she’s mocking me. Her eyes.  Her smile. They scream “Jason will never love you like he loves me,” as she laughs. You bitch. I smile again. I let go. She’ll never hurt you again Jason.